If It’s Not on Insta, Did It Even Happen?

The other day, one of my clients finished an incredible set of barbell squats. Perfect form, smooth execution, and a personal best weight to top it off. She turned to me, beaming, and asked

“Are you going to post that on your socials?”

It got me thinking…

If a woman squats in a gym and no one uploads it to Instagram, did it even happen?

We’re living in the age of Insta-fame where doing something is only half the story. The other half is capturing it from three flattering angles with a boppy soundtrack and a quote about resilience. My own kids won’t even leave the house for a party until they’ve had a full-blown backyard photo shoot that would make Vanity Fair jealous.

And who am I to judge? I love a filter as much as the next peri-menopausal woman. But it does raise some interesting questions.

As a trainer and the owner of a gym built for women navigating menopause, I’ve always been a bit old school when it comes to social media. I tend to post myself—what I’m doing, learning, or ranting about—but I steer clear of sharing videos of my clients, even when they smash their goals and look like absolute rockstars doing it.

It’s not that I’m not proud of them. I am. Fiercely. But I’ve always believed that everyone’s journey is deeply personal, and it’s not my place to parade that for public consumption. Sure, it might get a few extra likes, but at what cost?

Because here’s the thing. Not every win is flashy.

For one woman, success might look like squatting her body weight with perfect control. For another, it’s bending down to tie her shoelaces without wincing. Or getting out of bed without stiffness. Or showing up to class after a sleepless hormone-fuelled night.

These victories matter. They’re huge. But when we post only the loud, shiny wins, we risk creating a highlight reel that others can’t help but compare themselves to. And let’s be honest—comparison is a bit like putting on jeans straight out of the dryer. It never feels good.

Not everyone starts from the same place. Not everyone has the same destination. So why are we comparing apples to… well, bananas that have been through perimenopause and just want a nap?

Would my gym’s Instagram get more likes if I filmed every PB and progress photo? Probably.

But would it align with my mission to create a safe, shame-free, and proudly real space for women in midlife? Not even close.

So no, I didn’t record her squat.

But I cheered, fist-pumped, and wrote it on her tracker in giant capital letters.

And you better believe I’ll remind her of that squat every single time she doubts herself.

Because in the end, what matters most isn’t what the world sees. It’s what you feel.

And if you feel stronger, more capable, and more connected to your body

That’s a story worth celebrating, even if the only witness is you, your trainer, and maybe the studio plant.